I think that for every relationship I’ve ever been in, I’ve embraced one theme – go hard or go home. I liked hard, loved harder, tried my best to leave old baggage at the door, mentally devised how to get away with murdering my exes after our relationships went to shit. You know, normal stuff.
It wasn’t until after I hit 35 that I began to learn the art of letting go in a healthy way. It’s what allowed me to realize that a lot of my former love interests weren’t really assholes, we just weren’t on the same page when we got together.
It was also around the time that I started to go hard at morphing my ‘situationship’ with God into an actual relationship. I think both Jesus and I were tired of Him being my perpetual side piece, so I’m working on having him be a mainstay. I’m getting there.
I see myself as a spiritually religious person. I don’t go to church, but I have a church home. I was never much of a religious rule follower, but I understand, appreciate and embrace the structure of the Anglican faith when I do enter those four hallowed walls of St. Agnes Parish once or twice a year.
I pray daily, read/listen to scripture, meditate and – when the puppies allow – actually sit in silence every morning to the emerging world around me and take stock of the good, the bad and the ugly in my life and then throw out the negativity and get my day started.
It’s why I’ve always loved Sounds of Blackness’ Optimistic. It acknowledges the fact that there are good, bad and ugly parts to everyone’s life. It also reminds me that they are only temporary and how I approach them all is also a choice.
Whether its God or men (or food or work) I always get really pumped when I hear one of the lead singers hit this line:
“My, my, my, you can WIN child (As long as you keep your head to the sky)”
Some portions of this section will be hard for me to write as it covers most of the emotional relationships from my past. But the undertone of everything, I believe, will be a lesson learned. At the end of the day, it’s these lessons that have shaped me into who I am and I’m good with that.
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Song: Optimistic
Artist/Group: Sounds of Blackness
Album: The Evolution of Gospel
Release date: 1991
Let me go dig up my Sounds of Blackness CD. Yes. I still play CDs.
It’s one of my favourite songs!
This post is another winner. And like you, I absolutely love that line…YOU CAN WIN. Every person on this planet that is going through something needs to hear that line. In fact, I am gonna listen to that right now. Excited to go on this journey with you, mama!
I’m glad you liked it and I’m blessed to have you with me. 🙂