100 Ways…

…to love yourself (and, eventually, others)

I’m late! I’m late! For a very important date…

With myself. (facepalm)

The world has officially reopened, and my anxiety has taken off. I really need to learn how to master this mess. My Alice in Wonderland freefall had me in a tailspin trying to hold onto my weekly checklist. Some things got checked off with ease. Others, not so much. but that’s how creating habits happens right, through trial and error.

It’s discipline and consistency that fuse everything into place. So here I am, more than 36 hours past my publishing time and submitting this piece for your reading pleasure and my peace of mind. Here goes… everything.

For her 44th trip around the sun, one of my closest friends is curating 44 unique experiences in her 12-month window to mark the occasion. And I have been invited to hitch a ride when or wherever I can.

From axe throwing and outdoor hikes on the northern California coast to flying to Seattle for a weekend to catch Hamilton live, the experiences she’s been garnering are measuring up to be the bucket list she didn’t know she needed.

It got me thinking of the potential experiences I could have in my pocket of paradise in 2025. I’m not inclined to spend the year sitting on the sidelines watching life go by. I need to shake myself out of the all-too-relatable ‘comfort zone’ and find ways to be more than just resigned to living in my skin.

If I can’t find joy within myself how the fuck am I supposed to find it with someone else?  I must be intentional with the concept of self-love. And so, I’m taking my cues from my friend and challenging myself to experience 100 acts of self-love this year – for free.

That’s the catch. Do what I want and, in some cases, need, without spending a dime.

I’ve come up with a list of 50 experiences so far and hope to find more. Of course, being the anal chick that I am, I broke them into categories:

‘Compliment what she does’ (Mental and Emotional Well-being)
Take a moment to list three things I’m grateful for today.
Journal my thoughts in a notebook I already own.
Sit outside and enjoy some quiet time in nature.
Write down my biggest accomplishments and reread them for encouragement.
Speak affirmations aloud daily.

‘Send her roses, just because’ (Self-Care Treats)
Experiment with my hair.
Wear my favourite outfit, just because it makes me feel good.
Rearrange my space to make it feel fresh and comforting.
Light a candle or incense I already own to create a calming atmosphere.
Take photos of myself to celebrate where I am in life right now.

‘If it’s violin she loves, let them play’ (Relaxation and Joy)
Lay down and listen to my favourite music or nature sounds.
Dance like nobody’s watching at home.
Take time to enjoy the sunrise or sunset.
Give myself permission to do absolutely nothing for 10–15 minutes.
Stargaze on a clear night.

‘Dedicate her favourite song’ (Creative Expression)
Create content for my blog that excites me.
Sketch or doodle with whatever supplies I have at home.
Experiment with photography/videography with my phone.
Create a playlist of songs that inspire me.
Brainstorm ideas for a new project or hobby.

‘And hold her closer all night long’ (Social Well-being)
Send a kind text or voice message to someone I care about.
Organize a virtual chat or video call with friends.
Write a letter or email to reconnect with someone I miss.
Offer to help a friend or family member with a small task.
Share a positive post or comment on someone’s social media.

‘Love her today’ (Personal Development)
Watch free webinars or TED Talks on topics I’m interested in.
Write down my goals and brainstorm steps to achieve them.
Get back to learning French and Mandarin.
Spend time working on my writing.
Reflect on weekly wins, no matter how small.

‘Ask her to stay’ (Spiritual Growth)
Spend 10 minutes in silent meditation or prayer.
Practice forgiveness toward myself and others.
Sit outside and reflect on the beauty around me.
Write a list of things I want to let go of and reflect on it.
Practice being fully present in this moment.

‘Sacrifice if you care’ (Financial Well-being)
Create a spreadsheet to track my finances and spending habits.
Research free budgeting tools and resources online.
Watch YouTube videos on personal finance strategies.
Avoid impulse purchases.
Write out a plan to reduce unnecessary expenses.

‘Buy her some moonlight to wear’ (Physical Well-being)
Cook my favourite healthy meals at home.
Take a walk or jog around my neighbourhood or a nearby park.
Stretch for 10 minutes each morning.
Create a DIY face mask with ingredients I already have.
Practice deep breathing exercises to calm my mind and body.

‘If there’s one more star she wants, go all the way’ (Future Planning)
Write a vision for what I want my life to look like in five years.
Create a bucket list of experiences I want to have.
Write a letter to your future self.
List my strengths and how I can use them to reach my goals.
Plan my upcoming week with the tools I already have.

I figure once I get into the groove of making the free stuff happen, experiences that require money will eventually follow suit. The cool part about this list? Some of these items are already in play. Others will for sure give me grief. For now, the actual challenge is to follow through and execute. Wish me luck!

Song: One Hundred Ways
Artist: Quincy Jones (ft. James Ingraham)
Album: The Dude
Release Date: 1981

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