Get by

And I mean Daylight Savings Time, not the sorority.

It’s about 6 pm on a balmy Tuesday and my day is just getting started. Two days into this third world version of Narnia ‘springing forward’ and my body and brain are still playing catch up.

This time change has me deep in my feelings. Feeling worried about my age and even more perplexed about the fat on my bones. Oh, and let’s not get started on the lack of sleep. My body feels like it’s barely survived an excruciating gauntlet. The term ‘cruel and usual punishment’ comes to mind.

It’s the first time I feel old. Sheesh.

I totally did not feel this shit when I was in college. Hell, I didn’t feel this way last year. Then again, the last two years really don’t count since Mother Nature had put all our asses in an indefinite time out. Time changes meant nothing in a lockdown…

Yep, I’ll put the blame squarely on COVID’s ample shoulders.

I’ve been the most cantankerous bitch since Sunday – not to other people, just to myself. Well, maybe to a few folks. I apologized though, I promise… I think.

I feel like Sofia from The Color Purple – all my life I had to fight. This morning I had to fight to:

• Open my eyes
• Find the friggin remote to my a/c unit to turn that shit off. Ain’t no rousing happening in the cold. No ma’am.
• Get out of bed
• Throw on a bra and exercise (and trust me when I say – that is all I wore)
• Shower and get dressed for work
• Cook a meal while sleep-deprived
• Just be productive at anything.

I was five when The Color Purple came out. Damn. This age thing is in full effect in my head, but I digress.

By 11 am I was moderately ok. My internal clock was screaming curse words at me, but I took what I could get in terms of making ish work.

Still, I’m grateful. Grateful that I actually woke up. At 7. Which felt like 4 am. But up is up, even when you don’t want it to be.

I was pissed at my alarm, annoyed with myself for not moving my body the way I should have over the past couple of weeks. Truth is, I wouldn’t be feeling this shitty if I had done what I was supposed to do in the first place. And I loathed the onslaught of work waiting for me once I cracked open my ailing laptop. But I was awake to feel and experience all those things and so I, begrudgingly, turned my lament into a prayer of gratitude and praise because I was…I am, still here.

But no lie, the weekend can’t come soon enough. All alarms will be turned off so I can fast track this, clearly required, body adjustment. I feel everything on this no-longer college-aged body of mine and the only remedy for a course correction is a few extra hours of sleep and an increase in movement. I’ve gotta keep shit stupid simple.

Time, and her fucked up onward march, may have thrown me for a loop, but I am making my way to catch up to the beat and eventually, my regularly scheduled program. And that’s what counts.

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Song: Get By
Artist: Talib Kweli
Album: Quality
Release Date: 2002