It took a while for me to really catch on to what she was saying and just accept it. I found it difficult to interpret that my friend was putting me up in a hotel for three weeks – on her dime – just because she wanted to. There was no ulterior motive. And no, she didn’t regret my coming to visit her; there was no animosity of any kind in her system. She just wanted me to be comfortable and enjoy a leisurely respite where I could be alone and just… breathe.
Sorry, I got lost in a train of thought. Let me back up a bit.
After two and a half months, I bid adieu to the state of Texas last May and made my way to another southern state, Georgia. I would spend five weeks in total there, the first three with an old college friend whom I hadn’t seen in several years.
In my mind, the first day of travel set-up would be the same:
- Get scooped from the airport.
- Attempt to give/get a huge hug without being harassed by other drivers for blocking a lane.
- Find the nearest Chick-fil-A cuz chicken is life.
- Head to my friend’s home and get settled in.
Here’s how it actually went:
- Get scooped from the airport.
- Definitely got side eyes from folks while we hugged but my resting bitch face resolved that issue quickly.
- Spent damn near an hour on Chick-fil-A’s line.
- Checked in to a hotel?
And here is where the brain cramp began.
This was the second time in my life that a friend paid for me to stay in a hotel. It was a repeat of what happened almost six months prior. One of my girlfriends took a selected few on a weekend getaway as a thank-you for supporting her over the years. I was floored and excited and grateful and happy and optimistic.
That was a weekend, this was three weeks. Flabbergasted doesn’t quite cover my expression. My friend’s explanation for the gift went something like this…
“Vanessa, I don’t understand why you think we are doing too much. When we came to The Bahamas, you didn’t have to carry us around. You didn’t have to take us to that concert you took us to. You didn’t have to buy us Bamboo Shack or take us to all those different places, but you did. And even when I called you and I asked you to take our friend T to run around, you didn’t know who the hell he was. He was a complete stranger, and you still took him around and showed him all the sights and everything like that and you know, this is just our way of saying thank you. You’ve been a good friend. Why can’t we do the same? Vanessa, how much would it have cost us to hire somebody to take us around your entire island, pay to be our tour guide and keep us for more than 12 hours? Probably a grip. Just take the gift and enjoy yourself.”
I had no comeback for that. Helping people comes naturally to me. I don’t think anything of it. The levels of the thank yous coming back at me however, it’s throwing me for a loop. I ain’t used to people spending this kind of cash on me.
At that point, I had to press pause and stop being a hypocrite.
I took a leap of faith to take the journey in the first place.
I took a leap of faith and gave away possessions that, just one year prior, I would never have considered parting ways with.
I had taken the leap of faith to trust that God would provide for me throughout my travels.
So, why the FUCK was I rejecting the results of said leap? Why was I willing to begrudge a courtesy extended to me that was genuine and altruistic just because I wasn’t used to that kind of treatment? Why was I, when you think about it, telling God that I didn’t want to be the recipient of a gift that He had sent my way?
All I could say to my friend after her reality check was, “Thank you.”
I kept it moving after that.
The hotel served a hot complimentary breakfast from 6 – 10 every morning, which I gladly filled up on. It also had a pretty swanky gym for guests that I took full advantage of.
Turns out I was also serving as inspiration for some of the hotel’s workers with that daily activity. The compliments were kind and I pushed past the uneasiness of accepting good things and again said, ‘Thank you.”
One leap of faith was turning out to have more benefits than I thought possible. We visited Tuskegee University and visited the Tuskegee Airmen Museum, which was totally cool.
That ticking time bomb – aka Bu-cee’s – is apparently all over the US as we made several pit stops at the one in Auburn for those wonderful pulled pork sandwiches.
Had my second and third run-ins with Chipotle’s more mature and oh so much tastier sister, Cava. Cava is my new bae.
At one point during my trip, my friend went out of town for a few days, and I was left to hang out with Annabelle, her dog. We got along just fine. The situation wasn’t as triggering as I thought it would be. We explored new places on walks and had a blast with daily drives that ended with splitting a gut box.
We went to the movies, experimented with Italian ice, did a few Publix walkabouts, had some great steak dinners and I experienced my very first professional soccer game, where my friend immediately selected the player that she claimed she would hook me up with. We’ll see what happens.
I had shed five pounds by the time I was ready to head an hour north from Columbus to Dallas. That made me happy.
I learned a valuable lesson this leg. I need to be more open to blessings and accept folks giving to me in the same way I give to them. People value me in ways I still need to come to terms with.
The bottom line, I need to have faith in myself. That’s a lock that only I have the key to opening and I’m glad I finally found it.
—
Song: Faith
Artist: Stevie Wonder feat. Ariana Grande
Album: Sing: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
Release Date: 2016
