Who’s That Girl?

Disclaimer: This ride isn’t for everyone. Feel free to stay on or hop off anytime you want. I also do not own the rights to any of the songs or music videos that will be posted to this site. (Legal issues be gone!) If you’ve gotten this far without clicking away, welcome!

Putting the proverbial pen to paper to create this blog has been a pain in the ass for me. I’m used to critiquing other people’s work and not feeling so exposed, so this is difficult.

The adage that says something about words being more powerful than swords is spot on. Words can heal, hurt and kill if you’re not careful. Some of the words I will write have been bottled up inside and compartmentalized by yours truly for such a long time that they managed to hurt and kill off parts of me I didn’t realize were gone until I began to write in this space. I’m hoping these same words do their fucking job and begin to help me heal and grow as I release them into the ether.

That saying about speaking things into existence also hits the nail on the head. I’ve spoken some shit into existence in my life on more than one occasion and I’m paying the price now while trying to speak a better future for myself – one of abundance, adventure, happiness, health, love and wealth beyond measure.

This… sanctuary of sorts is my way of purging all the bullshit and blockers that I’ve been holding onto out of my system so that I can get closer to that life of contentment that I seem to never get to. So here goes…

My name is Vanessa Lynn Clarke and this is my story.

It’s no better or worse than anyone else’s. I believe we all have a story to tell. Some may be more interesting than mine. Some will be less. But this one is mine. The way I see it.

I’m going to do my best to be as objective and unbiased in writing it, but human error is bound to break free at some point. I’ll also introduce you to some characters that make up the core crew of this illustrious journey I’ve called life to date and I’m going to use music as a conduit to help make the words that are coming out of my brain make sense.

I think my first conscious memory of music – my love for it that is – came when I heard Cindi Lauper’s ‘Time After Time’ on the radio. I was probably nine and I had already decided who I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life with. He was one of my closest friends even though we were in and out of each other’s lives but even at eight, then 14, then 19, when he got married, when he got sick and up to two weeks before he died – if he needed me, even to talk, I was there and vice versa. RIP Chris.

The visual and visceral obsession I had with music videos manifested later when I watched Sarah Jessica Parker in ‘Girls Just Want To Have Fun’. It’s still my definition of THEE longest music video ever. Lol. Then again, I’m also a dancer at heart.

What eternally bound my life to music and paved the way for this blog site was the dawn of music television aka (MTV). And I mean the original MTV. The one that hired the world’s first-ever video jockeys and gave us the ominously creepy, yet accurate and super cheesy video for the song ‘Video Killed the Radio Star’.

This clusterfuck of an enterprise of reality shows on that sacred channel today is so not it.

For me, all songs tell a story. Music is a narrative of the human race – the good and the bad. Even the shitty songs I can’t stand or have an appreciation for, have their place in the world. The songs I choose to focus on in this space have their place in my life. They help to tell my story. Some will be spot on with their words mimicking my emotions. Others will be a nice interlude between thoughts and brain farts. All, however, will be relevant to me.

No, I can’t really answer the question titling this piece. I’m a work in progress. I can, however, give you a basic rundown of who I am today:

Age: Let’s go with forever 21. That’s how I feel even when I say I’m old. Old is relative. Old is a fucking choice and I choose to be 21. Years. Old.

Marital status: I’m not married to anyone or anything and I’m quite sure that’s a problem for my mother. I’ve been proposed to twice. The first guy thought ‘not yet’ meant ‘no’ and broke up with me immediately. The second one I did say yes to also decided to say yes to another woman and got her pregnant and again broke things off. Both happened before I was 21.

Kids: Whew chile! Do my parents count? No seriously, this is a real question. This right here is a touchy subject. I used to be a proud mommy of the pitbull nation but that was cut abruptly short back in 2019. I’m still debating if I will ever go back down that road and yes, I will expand on this in another section.

Zodiac sign: I’m a grounded, loyal, stubborn, sensually sexual motherfucker who is perpetually entangled with a certain Scorpio in my life since 2006. For those of you who don’t have a basic sense of astrology, this makes me a Taurus.

Moon Sign: I’m a flexible, adaptable, go with the flow kinda woman who can objectively work any problem that comes my way… as long as it doesn’t directly affect my life. Pisces, for those in the back of the class.

Religion: I’m learning to fall in love with God again. I have an issue with giving up control of any part of my life to any being. I’m working on truly defining this and there’s a section dedicated to that journey.

Exercise routine: barre, Pilates, walking and sleeping. I’m building up to having a daily exercise routine. Sometimes my body says yes, sometimes she screams, ‘Fuck NO!’ I take it day by day. Oh, and stretching. Right now, I only dream about it? I hope to actually do it one of these days and have it become a daily habit.

Breakfast food: Blueberry waffles with a fully loaded omelette and avocado

Liquor of choice: Prosecco or a Long Island Iced Tea. There is no middle ground.

Favourite colour: Sage or mint. I’m a green kinda girl. If I had to choose a runner up, it would be charcoal.

Favourite tv show: Just binge-watched all things Arrow because it’s ending, and Stephen Amell is my celebrity baby daddy.

Favourite movie: Currently, ‘Me Before You’

Favourite musician: A tie between Michael McDonald and Chaka Khan

Favourite quote: To thine ownself be true – William Shakespeare (Hamlet)

Favourite sport: Ballet. It’s a sport. Don’t argue with me on this. I’m pretty sure that the only other person on the planet with better endurance than Misty Copeland is that dolphin named Michael Phelps. Horse racing is a close second for me.

Favourite author: J R Ward (vampires and sex are life)

Favourite song: UGH! Brain cramp. Let’s just focus on the ones I select for each post.

As for the song selection for this proverbial ‘About me’ section… ‘Who’s that Girl?’ performed by Madonna (Louise Ciccone) is a testament to the adventure I find myself on right now. I’m at the point where I know what I don’t want and some of what I do. But, I’m always the beautiful being willing to embrace life and take others on this journey with me.

I’m also an 80’s baby – born analogue but super adaptive to the digital world – making this the clear winner over Eve’s song with the same name.

Stay safe and live your best life folks.

Vanessa

Song: Who’s That Girl?
Artist: Madonna
Album: Who’s That Girl movie soundtrack
Release date: 1987