Shout! Shout!
Right, I haven’t exactly said what’s going on with me. Short story:
I went away for 6 and a half months. I left my car with my parents. I put my dad – and only my dad – on my car insurance. I told both my parent NOT to let anyone else use my car. While I was gone, they let my brother use my car. He got into a car accident and not only wrecked my car but someone else’s as well. Now I have the summons to appear in court at the end of the month. After all, by law, I’m at fault because my vehicle was involved.
All of this happened one month before I returned home. My parents and my brother lied about everything until I got a call from my insurance company and the gentleman whose car had been hit.
Let it all out
I hate having difficult conversations, especially those I have with myself. I didn’t cry today but it was there—those feelings of despair, grief, sorrow and… loss. My lament isn’t about my car. It’s not my first and I’m sure it won’t be my last.
It was about the severance of the all too little emotional attachment I had to my folks and siblings. Yes, there can be forgiveness, but I will never forget, and I no longer trust them. That aspect of our relationship has been destroyed.
This isn’t the first time my parents have lied to me. I’ve felt that sting several times over the past few decades. But my parents encouraging my siblings to lie to me? That’s some brand-new bullshit that I may never get past.
I don’t know what these relationships are going to look like moving forward. I’m at that razor-thin edge where if I see them and talk to them, I am going to lose my shit on them and then I would have reached the point of no return.
END OF PART TWO
